


All I've Ever Wanted

by melroihag



Category: Gentleman Jack (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, fluff at the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-26
Updated: 2019-06-26
Packaged: 2020-05-20 02:40:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19368358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melroihag/pseuds/melroihag
Summary: Ann Walker tells her cousin's, Mr & Mrs Priestley that she's moved into Shibden Hall with Miss Lister... however things don't go according to plan.





	All I've Ever Wanted

**Author's Note:**

> This is my take on how things would go down after Ann tells the Priestley's of her moving into Shibden Hall.
> 
> Drama. Angst. Drama. Angst. Drama. Happy Ending. Enjoy!

A spring was in Miss Walker’s step as she exited her carriage, a content smile adorning her features as she saw young Joseph Booth wait by the front door for her, welcoming her home.

Her groom, James, helped her down the step from the carriage, and couldn’t help but feel pleased for young woman. In all the time he’d worked for her, he’d never seen Miss Walker so genuinely happy. Not until Miss Lister came along.

Yes, James had noticed an extreme change in his employer’s mood - a positive one at that - since moving in here at Shibden, and although he still had duties to attend to at Crownest, even he far preferred the hustle and bustle of Shibden Hall. There was never a dull moment, that was for sure. Not with Mrs Cordingley and Hemingway constantly chattering on about everything and anything, laughter could always be heard from the kitchen when those two were together. And don’t get James started on Eugenie. It would be fair to say he quite fancied her, and even though he knew nothing could ever come from it, he still enjoyed being in her presence.

 

* * *

 

Ann greeted the servants warmly as she always did, making sure to ask each and every one of them how they were before she made her way up the stairs. She’d been out all morning, over at Lightcliffe visiting her cousins the Priestley’s, and was excited to tell her wife how her talk with them, went.

Knowing her wife, she headed towards the study rather than their bedroom and her smile only increased tenfold when her eyes fell on that of Miss Lister hunched over at her desk, writing at a furious speed in her journal.

Ann cleared her throat to gain her wife’s attention and positively beamed when she succeeded.

“Hello.” Anne smiled up at her wife stood in the doorway.

“Hello to you too.” Ann all but skipped as she entered the room, closing the door behind her and leant against her wife’s desk after Anne had ushered her in.

“Where have _you_ been?” Anne wondered aloud, a coy smile playing on her lips as her hands instinctively reaching out for the blonde’s, pressing a kiss to the back of each.

“What are you writing?” Ann asked, glancing down at the open journal beside her on the desk.

Anne closed the book and set it aside, turning her full attention to her wife. Ann looked absolutely gorgeous, she thought to herself as her gaze wandered over soft features, bright blue eyes and golden hair only highlighted more so with the sunlight streaming through the window.

“What’s got you so happy?” Anne squeezed her wife’s hand gently.

“I paid a visit to my cousins, the Priestley’s.” Ann stated proudly, her legs swinging just a tad as she bit her lip to stifle a grin.

The smile on Anne’s face faltered ever-so-slightly, if you didn’t know Anne well, you wouldn’t have noticed the difference.

“Why? What’s the matter?” Anne’s brow furrowed in concern as she searched Ann all over for anything out of place.

Ann huffed a laugh at her wife’s protectiveness and placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

“Nothing’s the matter, I just informed them of my moving in here.” Ann said simply, a slight shrug lifting her shoulders.

Instead of having the desired effect of soothing her wife’s worries, Ann watched as utter confusion contorted Anne’s features.  
“I thought we were going to do that _together_?” Anne asked, shaking her head slightly as her brow creased even more.

“Well, yes… but—” Ann tried to explain but was cut off.  
“But what?” Anne let go of her wife’s hands, scooting the chair back a bit, putting some space between them.

Ann was lost for words, she couldn’t understand why Anne was reacting so harshly. Didn’t know why her wife’s Onyx eyes reflected so much hurt.

“Anne—” she tried again, but to no avail.

“I thought I was to come with you.” Anne’s tone was clipped, she herself not quite understanding fully, why she was behaving so poorly. All she knew was she was upset and therefore, her defences were up.

“If you’d just let me expl—” Ann stuttered out, her anxieties getting the better of her. She hated when her wife was cross.

Anne stood abruptly, blinking furiously as she gestured wildly with her hands.

“I just remembered, Washington requested to see me to go over the business with the pits.” the older woman refused to meet the blonde’s gaze, as the blatant lie escaped her lips.

Ann gaped at her wife’s behaviour, her chest tightening uncomfortably as she struggled to breathe. She watched helplessly as her wife left the room in a hurry, without so much as a second glance her direction.

Moments later, the loud bang of a door being slammed, echoing throughout the entire ancestral home, rattling the very timbers much like Ann’s nerves.

 

* * *

 

Ann was still sat there some time after, on her wife’s desk, when she heard the bell ring. Her feet taking her swiftly down the stairs, as she hoped against all hope that it were Anne at the door.

She got to the door second to Mrs. Cordingley and was surprised to find Mr. Washington stood at the door.

“Good afternoon, Ma’am.” He addressed both women politely.

“Is Miss Lister in?”he asked and Ann’s heart didn’t just sink, it bottomed out completely.

“I’m sorry, Sir, but Miss Lister… she… popped out not too long ago.” Mrs Cordingley worded carefully.  
“She didn’t say where she was going or how long for.” the older woman smiled apologetically.

Ann didn’t hear anything after that, nothing but a low buzzing sound rang in Miss Walker’s ear.

She didn’t hear Mr Washington ask if she was alright, she didn’t see Mrs Cordingley look at her in concern as Ann turned and walked back through the house, shoulders slumped. Her feet taking her of her own accord to the drawing the sitting room where she was unaware of Marian and Aunt Anne Lister’s presence. Too stuck in her own head to acknowledge anything else as she tried frantically to piece together how everything had gone so wrong.

 

* * *

 

Marian was mid-sentence, reading the newspaper to Aunt Anne, when Miss Walker entered the room, a glazed-over look in her eyes as she slowly sat down in the empty seat across from them.

“Miss Walker?” Marian tried to get the young woman’s attention, but when the blonde gave no indication of having heard her, Marian shared a worried look with her Aunt.

Marian folded the newspaper, placed it on her Aunt’s lap and moved to kneel beside her sister’s small-looking companion.

“Ann?” Marian tried again, gentler this time, a small smile gracing her face as Ann glanced up at her immediately.

“Are you alright?” Marian asked warily.

“I, I—don’t know.” Ann just about managed to choke out.  
Aunt Anne reached out her hands and gestured for Ann to go and sit with her, which the blonde did after Marian encouraged her with a gentle nudge and warm smile.

As soon as Aunt Anne placed her arm around Ann’s shoulders, the blonde burst into tears.

Marian teared up just watching the poor young woman sob, exchanging another concerned look with her Aunt.

Ann was upset about what had happened with Anne certainly, but a fresh wave of tears fell as she realised just how much she’d missed her mother. Ann couldn’t remember the last time she was shown such motherly love, besides that of her Sister in Scotland, but that hardly count as her sister was just that, her _sister_. But the feeling stirred from Aunt Anne’s caring embrace overwhelmed Ann, and she felt her chest tighten again, breathing becoming ragged as she struggled to draw in oxygen to her lungs.

Aunt Anne held a shaking Miss Walker whilst Marian asked Hemingway to fetch a glass of water.

Once Ann seemed to have calmed down, she explained to both women the cause for Anne’s sudden and very loud departure. The moment she blamed herself, Aunt Anne spoke up.

“Don’t you dare for a second think that this is any of your fault.” the older woman took one of Ann’s hands into both of hers, squeezing reassuringly.

Ann shook her head to disagree, when Marian spoke up.  
“The moment she walks through that door…” Marian huffed angrily, thinking of all the ways she’ll scold Anne for upsetting Miss Walker so much.

Aunt Anne hushed both women before lifting Ann’s head with a hooked finger to the young woman’s chin.  
“You did nothing wrong. Anne just has a temper on her that sometimes she’s unable to control.” the elderly woman explained, smiling sadly.

“There’s no secret about that.” Marian snarked, gaining a disapproving glare from her Aunt which silenced her.

“But—” Ann went to make another excuse, but was cut off by the older woman.  
“I can assure you that Anne was most likely annoyed at herself and… unfortunately, took it out on you.” Aunt Anne pat the young woman’s pat gently.

Ann sniffled in response, not knowing what to say as her thoughts muddled together.

“She’ll come home and feel dreadful for acting like such a child, and if it were anyone else, I wouldn’t suggest it because I don’t think for a second that they could get away with it…” a mischievous smile grew on Aunt Anne’s face when Miss Walker’s curious gaze met hers.

“Tell her to sleep in the guest bedroom tonight, after her poor display of behaviour. I’ll tell Hemingway to get it have it ready.” the older woman smirked when a small wet laugh left Miss Walker’s lips and a tiny smile appeared on the blonde’s face.

Marian chuckled then, causing all three women to laugh a little louder.  
“Everything will be alright.” Aunt Anne whispered in Ann’s ear before placing a chaste kiss on the crown of the young woman’s head.

“Thank you.” Ann spoke quietly, a slight flush colouring her cheeks as embarrassment flooded through her from having turned into a crying emotional wreck in front of her wife’s family.  
“Nonsense.” Marian rolled her eyes fondly.  
“ ** _We’re family._** ” Aunt Anne smiled, giving the young woman’s hand another gentle squeeze.

Ann’s gaze switched between the two women, wondering if they truly knew the extent to her relationship with Anne, and if Marian’s wink was any indication, she say that they certainly had some sort of idea. Whether it was right or not was something she didn’t think they’d ever address.

 

* * *

 

It was nightfall by the time Anne made it back to Shibden, and as she did every night before retiring to her room, she went to check in on her Aunt. If only to prolong the inevitable of facing her wife, and having to explaining her reasons for her - admittedly - poor behaviour.

What Anne didn’t expect to find was Marian in their Aunt’s room, sitting on the wooden chair next to their Aunt’s bedside with a glare, that if looks could kill, Anne would certainly be ten feet under.

“Everything alright?” Anne asked hesitantly, fixing her gaze on her Aunt as Marian’s cold stare was setting her nerves on edge.

  
“Why don’t you ask Miss Walker.” Marian hissed, before falling silent at a gentle pat on her hand from her Aunt.

Aunt Anne hinted at Marian to give them a moment, that she’d see her in the morning, by nodding toward her bedroom door and shooting her a grateful smile.

Marian nodded solemnly and gave her Aunt a kiss on the cheek goodnight before leaving the room, not giving her sister another glance.

Aunt Anne gestured to the now empty chair at her bedside, to which Anne ruefully slumped into.

“I think you know what you’ve done, and that’s punishment enough.” Aunt Anne said without judgement.

Anne made the mistake of looking up into her Aunt’s eyes though, as all she saw reflected back was disappointment. Her stomach churning at the sight. There was no worse a feeling than upsetting those you love, and it seems her reign of terror didn’t just stop with her wife today.

Anne took a moment to compose herself, she felt the onset of tears building behind her eyes and a lump form in her throat as she tried to find the words to explain.

“My… temper… got the better of me.” she said, shaking her head. The poorest excuse if there ever was one. Just hearing the words fall from her mouth made her feel sick.

“Yes. Well, I hope you only need to learn this lesson the once.” the elderly woman took her niece’s hand gently and pat it sympathetically.

Anne wanted to explain her behaviour, but found every reason poorer than the first.

“She went to tell some of her cousins… about having moved in here, with me.” Anne decided to give her Aunt the context behind what’d happened.

Aunt Anne gave her hand an encouraging squeeze, urging her niece to continue.

“We were to do it _together_ … or, at least, I thought that was the case…” she trailed off, the words unwilling to escape her as she got closer to the real reason behind her irrational outburst.

“Why _together_?” her Aunt asked the question that triggered her snappy response.

“Because!” Anne whisper-yelled, before taking a deep breath and glancing to the ceiling to compose herself.

The elderly woman hated seeing her niece in such emotional turmoil, but she knew that getting Anne to confront herself head-on was the only way to move forward.

“Because?” she encouraged gently.

Anne felt helpless and weak as her vision blurred.

“What if they’d poisoned her against me? What if she changed her mind and just never came back?” Anne’s voice was a but a broken whisper at this point as she finally allowed her fears to be released.

Seeing the pain in Anne’s eye’s made the elderly woman nodded imperceptibly. She knew that the reasoning behind Anne’s behaviour would’ve been valid.

When Anne refused to meet her gaze, Aunt Anne lifted her niece’s chin with a hooked finger and wiped away a stray tear, a small sympathetic smile curving her lips. She looked so young like this, Aunt Anne thought to herself.

“I don’t think there’s anyone in the world, who could turn the way that woman feels about you, sour.” the elderly woman tried to rouse a smile from her niece, only succeeding in a half-hearted huff of a laugh.

“That woman was absolutely devastated when you left today.” she tried to get through to her niece again, “Anyone that distraught… _wouldn’t_ consider leaving. They wouldn’t even _entertain_ the idea.”

Anne took what comfort she could from her Aunt’s words, knowing the woman was probably right, she exhaled a long shaky sigh.

“She’s _here_. To **stay**.” her Aunt added and Anne searched the woman’s gaze to see if she were telling the truth.

A memory played in her mind’s eye then, that of her begging Ann not to hurt her, and yet she’d gone and hurt Ann instead.

Aunt Anne watched as her niece’s shoulders straightened and a look of determination shone in her eyes.

Anne composed herself, bid her Aunt a goodnight and headed for her bedroom. Hoping, praying, that she could fix what she’d so badly broken.

 

* * *

 

Anne sees the familiar flickering of candlelight under the bedroom door, taking that to mean her wife was still up.

She closed the bedroom door softly behind herself and breathed a sigh of relief at the sight of Ann curled up on their bed asleep.

She thought to herself that Ann looked much younger with her braid splayed out across the sheet, and guilt sank her stomach when she noticed the red circles under the young woman’s eyes. A clear indication that Ann had been crying, a lot.

Anne took off her shoes and made her way closer, not wanting to disturb what sense of peace her wife seemed to have found. She gently caressed the blonde’s face, a sad smile curving her lips when Ann, even in the haze of sleep, leant into her touch, almost instinctively.

The bubble burst however, when Ann roused from sleep and Anne felt her wife’s entire body stiffen under her touch. After a moment of tension-filled eye contact, the blonde shrugged out of Anne’s hold and turned over, leaving her back now facing her.

A pang of guilt struck Anne hard, making her wince and prompted her to start apologising.

Anne hadn’t gotten more than “I’m sorry”, out before Ann cut her off, telling her that the guest room had been made up and that she can sleep in there tonight. Anne visibly balked at that.

“I won’t be shunned from my own bed.” she scoffed in disbelief, though fell silent when Ann turned back over and shot her a watery glare.

“ ** _Our_** bed.” Ann corrected, reminding her that it became ‘theirs’ the moment they wed.

  
Stunned to silence, it’s only when Anne let’s her gaze travel around the room, lit solely by candlelight, that she notices the wastepaper basket overflowing with tissues.  
“You’ve been crying.” the words leave her lips without thought and sounding more like an observation than anything else.

Ann scowled at her, not appreciating how unaffected Anne seemed to be by this whole ordeal.  
“Maybe you would too if _your_ **wife** up and disappeared with no explanation.” the blonde retorted, voice wet with the threat of fresh tears.

Before Anne could utter a word, Ann sat up resting her back against the headboard and continued, her voice breaking in places from trying to sound angry, but the traitorous tears masked any and all attempts to sound strong.

“Oh, wait. You did explain. You’d said that Mr Washington had needed to see you.” Anne winced, but allowed Ann to get her anger out of her system. She deserved that much.

“Only he arrived looking for you not long after you stormed out. Imagine my surprise!” Ann’s voice got higher, uncaring of waking anyone up. The majority of those residing here a Shibden were hard from hearing anyway.

Anne closed her eyes and took a deep steadying breath, she knew as soon as the lie left her lips that it would come back to bite her in the arse. She had just needed to get out of there before her temper got the better of her, she didn’t want to say anything in the heat of the moment which she’d come to sorely regret.

Once again though, Ann surprised her by not letting her get a word in edgewise.  
“So… where _have_ you been? Because it certainly wasn’t with Washington.” the blonde blinked tears away furiously, managing remarkably well to keep her voice steady.

Anne deflated at seeing her wife in such a state of distress, knowing she was the cause. She waited a beat to see if Ann would interrupt her, but her wife seemed to be waiting on an answer.

“I went for a walk.” was all that escaped her lips, an involuntary shrug accompanying her words, which seemed to only ignite Ann’s impatience more than anything.

“And you just _had_ to go for a walk _then_?”she asked, her tone, although low grew increasingly more irate.

“Yes.” Anne spoke firmly, as her hurt from earlier returned, reminding her of why she’d left in the first place.

Ann huffed in disbelief, shaking her head as a fresh wave of tears fell in haste. She once again turned away, not giving Anne the satisfaction of watching her cry.

The tension in the room was tangible and downright uncomfortable. Anne sat down on the edge of the bed, back facing her wife whilst she sighed tiredly, resting he elbows on her knees and cradled her head in her hands. How had things gotten so out of control, she thought to herself.

Despite being cross with Anne, cross being quite the understatement, deep down Ann was glad the woman hadn’t listened to her and gone to the guest room. She loathed to be apart from Anne any longer than what was absolutely necessary.

After Anne had stormed out, the irrational part of her mind had fed the rest of herself nonsense. Nonsense like; Anne wouldn’t return, like, maybe Anne _had_ finally realised that Ann was no good for her, that Anne was, in fact, **already** fed up with her.

Those thoughts had been swirling round and round like a mantra in her head since she retired to their room, after thanking Aunt Anne and Marian for keeping her company for a little while.

She’d spent the better half of an afternoon questioning everything, just like how she’d spend her lonely days at Crownest.

Anne was the one to break the quiet that had descended on the them now.  
“I shouldn’t have left like that.” she spoke lowly, shame painting her tone in a dark light.  
“I’m sorry.” she added, though it sounded as if she felt forced to apologise.

Ann heard, what _she_ assumed to be reluctance, in her wife’s voice and the nagging insecurities grew louder inside her head. Almost completely convincing here, there on the spot, that Anne _was_ tried of her.

The blonde scoffed and shook her head slowly, as she listened to the voices in her head. They aid everything and all at once, driving her to the brink of insanity, and not for the first time at that. They whispered that she was foolish and naive, that they’d warned her long ago that she was never and would never be enough for the truly magnificent, Anne Lister.

Anne heard her wife’s scoff and took it the wrong way, thinking Ann didn’t believe or accept her apology, or even acknowledge that Anne realised that she’d gone about the situation the wrong way entirely.

Anne’s defences flew up like a shield, an automatic response from training herself not to care what others thought of herself, but before she could get a word out, the sarcasm sitting heavily and already souring her tongue, she glanced over her shoulder, at the sound of rustling bed sheets.

She watched as Ann flung the sheets back and threw her legs over the side of the bed, taking the few strides to the chest of drawers with ease.

Anne frowned at the action, any and all quips on her lips dissolved into utter confusion.

“What are you doing?” Anne asked as she observed her wife rifling through the drawers, gathering items of her own she’d spent the past week finding new homes for, in this very room.

When Ann didn’t respond, the frown on Anne’s forehead grew deeper.

“Ann?” concern laced her tone as she watched her wife, seemingly in a trance, lost in her own thoughts, gather the belongings onto her side of the bed, before crouching down on the floor.

The sound ofsomething heavy being dragged along the wooden paneling, scraped loudly and Anne gaped as her petite wife slid her trunk out from under the bed, opened it and began placing her belongings inside.

Seeing her wife packing up her things, brought Anne’s very fear to life, stirring a violent panic inside of her.

“Ann.” Anne’s voice was a little louder now, enough to break her wife from her thoughts and gain her attention, even if just for a moment.

Ann’s body froze solid as she registered - _barely_ \- her name fall from Anne’s lips. The concern she heard in the older woman’s voice, cut through her spiralling thoughts like a foghorn.

“What are you doing?” Anne was worried now, the lost look in her wife’s eyes causing an uneasy feeling to settle in her stomach.

In Ann’s head, she was answering Anne’s questions and then some, but in reality, she just stared blankly at the woman now stood across from her.

The deserted look in Ann’s eyes, paired with the fact she didn’t answer her question, at least not verbally, is what kicked Anne’s instincts into gear.

Having already gotten to her feet in her state of panic, she held her hands up in surrender and painstakingly made her way around the four-poster bed, to her wife’s side.

Their argument all but forgotten, Anne’s only objective was to try and get through to the blonde who seemed hundreds of miles away, instead of stood right beside her.

Anne hesitated before gentling prying Ann’s hands from around one of her wife’s sketchbook’s and slowly placed it down on the bed near them.

At the feel of Ann’s fingers grasping hers back, almost desperately, had a lump forming in the back of Anne’s throat.

Anne gently tilted the blonde’s face up to look at her, she searched Ann’s gaze and nearly sobbed _herself_ at the utter despair she found swimming in those bright blues.

Having never experiences something quite like this before, Anne cursed herself for not knowing how to help. She wanted, no, **_needed_** , to take the pain away that shone so blatantly in her wife’s eyes.

Anne rest her forehead against Ann’s and held both of the blonde’s hands tightly in hers.

Ann’s eyes closed involuntarily as their heads made contact, tears falling silently down her face, as she felt Anne’s thumbs rub soothing circles on the backs of both her hands.

“ ** _Don’t leave me._** ” the whispered plea was followed by a sob.

Anne felt her own eyes tear up at that, as she pulled her wife against her, holding her firmly, her arms securing themselves around Ann’s waist.

She rocked them from side to side, hushing the blonde’s cries as she felt her wife’s tears soak through her collar.

“P-p-promise me?” Ann stuttered, those exact words bringing back painful memories.

“Shh.” Anne hushed the woman in her arms gently, as Ann’s breathing grew only more ragged, as she gasped for air to fill her lungs.

It physically broke Anne to witness her wife like this. Knowing all that had taken place could’ve been avoided if she’d just allowed her wife to explain herself.

When Ann showed no signs of calming down, Anne changed tactics. Despite it being near-impossible with her wife clinging to her, Anne managed to taking off all outer layers of her clothing, so she was left in just her undergarments. She shuffled to the centre of the bed and leant back against the headrest, before swiftly pulling her wife into her embrace.

 

Lord only knows how long they sat like that, with Ann burrowed into her wife’s chest. Anne had gently rocked them from side to side, still tangled in each other’s arms, until Ann eventually gained control of her breathing again.

Anne thought her wife asleep until she felt the wedding band on her finger being traced by Ann’s light fingertips, and heard a shaky exhale escape her wife’s lips.

“I’m sorry.” Ann’s voice was hoarse from having spent the majority of the day crying.  
“Whatever for?” Anne asked gently, not wanting to set her wife off again.  
“For making you cross.” the blonde’s voice was devoid of emotion now and Anne begin to worry a repeat of earlier was about to happen.

Before Anne could question what she meant, Ann elaborated.

“If I hadn’t gone to see the Priestley’s, you wouldn’t have gotten cross… and you wouldn’t have left… you wouldn’t have realised you don’t want me anymore.” Ann grew quiet, her watery eyes on the verge of getting lost again.

No, Anne would **_not_** lose her again.

Lifting her wife’s head, she searched Ann’s tired eyes and her heart broke once again at the resolute in her eyes.

“Who said I do not want you?” Anne asked, ready to commit murder to whichever damned soul put such an absurd thought into Ann’s head.  
“You left.” the words were barely audible, that if Anne weren’t sat so close, she’s not sure she’d have heard them at all. Ann spoke them as if they were explanation enough and Anne once again cursed herself for having left.

“I told you, I needed to clear my head. “ Anne tried to explain, but trailed off into silence when Ann’s gaze focused on her.  
She watched as Ann’s eyes mapped over every inch of her face, almost as if committing it to memory. The blonde’s stare ended at her wife’s lips and she reached up to brush the pad of her thumb along Anne’s bottom lip.  
“I don’t blame you.” the words came out hollow as a haunted smile curved Ann’s lips.  
“Ann.” Anne tried desperately to get through to her wife, she would **not** lose her to the voices inside her head again.  
“Ann.” she repeated, this time succeeding as her wife’s gaze met hers.

“I left because I was angry, yes.” she admitted, trying frantically to get the words out whilst she still had her wife’s undivided attention.  
“I was cross because I thought you didn’t want me present when informing your relations of your new residence here at Shibden. **_With me._** ” the words fell from her lips like a dam had burst and she was unable to stop the water from flowing.

“I was scared.” she admitted in a broken whisper. The truth taking both herself and her wife by surprise.

Anne could see the clouds clear from Ann’s eyes, as concern replaced them instead. She felt the blonde’s fisted grip on the front of her nightshirt tighten, minutely.

Despite being uncomfortable being this vulnerable, she was beyond relieved to find Ann returning to her from whatever dark recesses of her mind she’d clearly been trapped in.

“Of what?” Ann asked, gaze searching for some kind of answer in Anne’s eyes.  
It was Anne’s turn to fall apart now, she wondered as the genuine care in her wife’s eyes caused Anne’s to sting with the onslaught of unbidden tears, which she hastily blinked away.

Unable to stop the sniffle, as her nose started to run, Anne had to take a deep breath to steady herself. Only opening her eyes when she felt Ann’s free hand reach up to caress her cheek, swiping away the tears as they fell.

“At first, I thought it may have been because you were embarrassed to be seen in my company.” she placed a soft chaste kiss to Ann’s palm, as the blonde’s brow furrowed. She elaborated before Ann could even open her mouth to question such a thing even possible in this world.  
“That was just an insecurity that stemmed from something Mary had told me once. Granted, she was miffed at the time she spoke the words, it seems they stuck without my knowledge. Until today.” Anne explained and used the pad of her thumb to smooth the crinkle in her wife’s brow.

She took the opportunity to remind herself of how better off she is with **Ann** _now_ , than she’d ever been before with any number of previous lovers.

“Then—” Anne’s voice broke and she bit the inside of her cheek to try and compose herself.

“Then I thought, what if they poisoned you against me? Against us? What if they’d succeeded and I’d have been none the wiser?” Anne’s gaze fell to her lap where she let the tears fall freely.

“Oh, Anne.” Ann sighed sadly, tucking her wife’s head into the crook of her neck. She gently massaged the base of Anne’s skull, knowing from experience that the motion soothed her wife far more quickly than words could.  
Anne leant into the blonde’s embrace, a yawn escaping her as at the feel of Ann’s nimble fingers working the knots out of her neck and spine.

“ _Nothing_ and _no one_ will **ever** change the way I feel about **_you_**.” Ann whispered the promise in her wife’s ear. She pressed a lingering kiss to Anne’s cheek before continuing, knowing her wife needed to hear these words from her, knew that Anne needed to see with her own eyes just how much she meant every single word.

 

* * *

 

Ann stood on the porch of her cousin, Mr Priestley’s estate, surprisingly more confident than she’d felt the entire carriage ride over to Lightcliffe from Shibden.

A surge of unwavering pride shot through her as she realised she didn’t have a single doubt in her mind about having moved into Shibden with Anne.

She’d been brought out of her thoughts by William - her cousin, Mr Priestley - answering the door, in nothing more than a dressing gown.

“Ann? Is everything alright?” he’d asked, blinking repeatedly as his eyes adjusted to the light of the morning sun.

“Yes, I actually came by to speak with you and Mrs Priestley, if that’s alright? It won’t take a moment.” she’d smiled, despite being somewhat uncomfortable by her cousin’s lack of dress at this hour of the morning.

“Uh—Of course, come in, come in.” he’d ushered her just inside the door, before bellowing up the stairs for his wife.

A few excruciatingly awkward moments later, Mrs Priestley had appeared, shuffling down the stairs, she too, in nothing but a dressing gown.

“Ann, what a delightful surprise. How are you, my dear? We’ve hardly seen you since we brought you back from Scotland.” Eliza had tried painfully to create small talk, but Ann wasn’t there to socialise. She wanted to get it over and done with.

“I’m good thank you. Never better, in fact.” Ann had beamed.  
“That’s wonderful.” Eliza had gushed, leaning against her husband’s side.

“Yes, right… well, I’m only here to inform you that should you need to contact me for any reason, then you’re to divert all correspondence to Shibden Hall. I no longer live at Crownest.” Ann had smiled proud of herself, she hadn’t tripped over her words once.

“I beg your pardon?” William had balked.  
“Just when exactly did this happen?” Eliza’s tone had set Ann’s defences on edge.  
“I moved in, a week ago yesterday.” Ann had smirked at Eliza’s obvious outrage and William’s blatant inability to form any coherent sentence.

“Now, you listen to me young lady—” Eliza had pointed her finger at Ann, which William had taking hold of, in a weak attempt to try and calm his wife.  
“First of all, last I checked **_Eliza_** , you’re only related to me through marriage. Not blood. So I’d be careful of your tone next time you speak to me, thank you.” Ann had been on a roll, taking their shocked reactions in her stride as she’d continued.  
“And secondly—” she’d began but was cut off by William.  
“Ann, let’s be reasonable now.” he’d attempted to calm the situation, but instead only dug himself a bigger hole if Eliza’s glare had been anything to go by.

“And secondly—” she repeated, her tone clear that she wouldn’t be interrupted again.  
“Could you pass along the message to the rest of the tribe, Eliza?” Ann had feigned begging, “Word from your mouth seems to travel faster than if I were to do the rounds myself.” Ann had smirked at Eliza’s obvious disapproval.

Just as Ann had turned on her heel to leave, Mrs Priestley had grabbed hold of Ann’s arm, yanking her to a halt.

“You’ll be the laughing stock of the whole of Halifax.” Eliza tried to sound menacing, but instead turned out to be somewhat put out when her words didn’t have the desired reaction from the young woman, as she’d anticipated.

“What happens behind _our_ closed doors is none of _your_ concern, just like whatever happens here, behind these closed doors…” Ann had given them an obvious look up and down, causing William to tighten his robe uncomfortably.  
“Is none of our concern.” she finished, her stare almost dared Mrs Priestley to challenge her.

“You’re playing with fire!” Eliza had gotten into her personal space then as she threatened Ann, a last ditch attempt.

“I suppose I’ll have to get used to the heat then, won’t I?” Ann had snarked back, leaving her cousins with a sharp nod, before accepting James’ hand up into the carriage.

She’d settled back into the seat with a content sigh as she ordered the driver to head back **_home_** _._ (To Shibden.)

 

* * *

 

The tears had long since dried on Anne’s face, as she listened with rapt attention to her wife’s retelling of the morning’s events. She couldn’t help but feel an overwhelming swell of pride, as she remembered something Steph had told her long ago about Miss Walker. It seems Ann did in fact have a backbone, and the fact she stood up to Mrs Priestley would have the other woman second guessing referring to Ann as an invalid ever again.

All Anne’s life, she’d waited for her perfect match to come along, and here she was, sat in her lap, wrapped in her embrace and in the form of the most beautiful woman she’d argue she’d ever laid eyes on.

Anne wanted so desperately to close the distance, but the lingering guilt from their fight had her second guess herself.

Ann could tell her wife was hesitant to make the first move, so decided for her by drawing Anne into a bruising kiss.

“You’re more than I ever hoped for.” Anne whispered, completely and utterly in awe of her wife.

Neither of them noticed that one of the candles had blown out during their argument, leaving the room in a low orange glow, lit only by a single candle.

The contrast highlighting Ann’s golden hair, making Anne that much more aware of just how breathtaking Ann was.

“And _you_ are all that I’ve ever wanted.” Ann bit her lip to stifle the grin that threatened to split her face, as the words escaped her. Never in her wildest dreams, did Ann Walker think she'd ever get spend her life with the woman who stole her heart at the tender age of fourteen.

All previous heartache was forgotten as Anne connected their lips once more, this time with every intention of showing her wife just how much she adored her.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! As always, I'd love to know what you think? So, please leave a comment.
> 
> (The more encouragement, the more inspired I am to continue writing these characters.)


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